You may seem some changes!

What can I say? I have creative ADHD and I cannot help myself. I really like it though, it speaks to me!

I’m an individual and I feel how I feel, when I feel it!

So I haven’t posted in almost a month. Please stop yelling hateful things and racial slurs at me! In all fairness, I have been busy…. like really busy! “Pssh, too busy to blog??” you may ask, but unfortunately the answer is no. I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not but I kind of avoid blogging when I am knowingly doing something wrong. Someone who calls themselves a “psychology major” calls that misplaced association and avoiding reality. I am safely choosing to call it downright laziness! I am a fucking lazy bastard if I allow myself to be and the past two weeks especially have kind of sucked.

I’ve taken on a lot in my life to gain some individuality. Most of which, I have noted previously… the different diet to better my health, trying to socialize more with close friends and more importantly, the online magazine that I’ve co-founded. This has changed my life in more ways than I thought imaginable (the magazine anyway). I have found that I have become so much more passionate about issues that I care about and I am taking more of a stand on things. I am now a full blown feminist and really exploring what that means to me. The really HOLY SHITBALLS thing that I have noticed is that my fiancé and I are much closer. He is a voluntaryist which is a form of anarchy and he does not believe in the government. He’s very passionate about his political views and I was usually the ignorant bystander, not no more peeps! We have debates and in depth discussions now! Our relationship has completely changed… for the better. I think. We have both become very passionate about the whole marriage equality issue too. We have decided to protest the nay sayers in this subject in a very real and personal way. I cannot really talk about it right now because we haven’t told anyone yet but stay tuned…

On the whole diet front. BLECGH. Yup, that sums it up! I suck. I completely and utterly suck. This isn’t a pity party mind you, it’s a statement because I fully accept it, I know that I do it to myself. I allow myself cheats here and there and then the next thing that I know, I blink and ::POOF:: I’ve eaten a donut every morning this week! I am apparently not alone because I was approached by a friend today going through the same thing… we have made a chastity belt of food pact to be good starting next week.

My whole problem is this… when I am on my game and head is clear and my bra matches my underwear, I totally have my shit together! I can fucking rule the world! When I am off my game, I forget my meds, I wake up late, I forgot to shower (Yes, forgot! It totally happens), I eat crap, I get depressed, I get super lazy and let everything slide. I am a miserable depressed idiot. I know you are thinking that this sounds bi-polar but it’s not. I only know this because I have been tested. bwa ha ha. But when it comes to all the other shit I’ve got, if something is slightly off kilter or I forget to take my meds or something, I am a total wack job. Oh! And I always start swearing like a fucking sailor. Sorry mom.

My point is, I have had more off days than on days lately so I don’t want to blog about it and air all the crap that I’ve got going on… I am not the type of person to do that for attention, I hate pity parties!! I always refuse to RSVP. Until the next time… Hannah Horvath from HBO’s girls states it perfectly for me…