1,723 days. That’s how long it’s been since my last post. 4 years, 8 months, 19 days. To say that I’m a different person would be a complete understatement. Holy fuckballs.
I’m here today, a changed woman; living in a different state, and with a whole new set of problems. There’s so much to cover that I’m baffled on where to begin. I guess I’ll start with why I’m back and writing again.
My brain (and my anxiety) is currently at capacity. There comes a time when you have to 
look into a mirror and tell the reflection that it’s okay to need help and to have the need to express yourself. That’s why I’m here. I’ve had many ups and downs and the ugly demon of depression has reared it’s ugly head many times. More often than not recently. I have felt as though I’m under a veil of doubt or a thick fog that I can’t navigate. Hope and inspiration is desperately searching for a tear or opening to breath through. 2019 has been a very difficult year filled with illness, family emergencies, fiscal horror shows, employment issues, and new beginnings.
Fear not though, I will be writing about everything that’s going on with me currently as well as what’s happened in the last five years. I forgot how much I’ve enjoyed the written word, and I completely forgot about this blog. I was thinking it would be nice to put all my feelings into something, exchange thoughts and ideas, and have an outlet for what I’m going through – not realizing that I had that exact epiphany in 2014 and started Vintage Imagination. It’s funny how people change but stay the same. There is a major difference though between now and before – I have a much better support system in my life. I have met people that I have such a beautiful and profound connection with, it’s astonishing. I no longer feel as though I’m simply a friend “of convenience” because we work together or live next door. I have real friends now. Lifers. I have friends from work, friends outside of work and a group that I would Thelma and Louise it with. I love them and they love me. The sheer support and love that has been given to me this year alone is more than I’ve received from anyone in RI (with the exception of two wonderful humans).
So – here it is…
I’m excited to begin a new chapter (again).
This time I mean it (again).
I’m going to stick with it (again).
Instead of putting those phrases into my mind that’s destined for failure – I’ve decided not to put so much pressure on myself and just use this as I need it. I have so many ideas and plans that I don’t follow through. I become immensely inspired and loose steam after a week or two. This is my outlet, my ranting posts, my rage box, my safe space.
Safe space.
That sounds nice.
I am in the mood to dissolve into the sky. – Virginia Woolf
Vintage imagination 